I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
