Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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