Non-Jews are for practice
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
