those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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