I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
