Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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