oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I am spending my child support on dildos
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
