You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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