Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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