I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Randomize
