why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
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I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
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No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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