whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Watching her eat just hurts me
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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