two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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