Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
