how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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