She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
