And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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