dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
