he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
