based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
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