he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
