The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
