when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize