i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
