he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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