11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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