I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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