I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
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This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
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i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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