Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
