Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My life is pants optional.
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