Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
