A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
