I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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