i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I've blown a few things in my day
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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