I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
