I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
