plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
