I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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