what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize