I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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