i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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