so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
