i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
