my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
