rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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