dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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