I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How external is "for external use only"?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Someone signed my nipple.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
