its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
