the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
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That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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