I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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