My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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