you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
