Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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