He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
