first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
