go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
