This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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