I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
