My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
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