I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
