this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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