That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize