i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
