they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
