I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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