508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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