peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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