I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...