the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.