Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night