do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
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There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
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Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom