She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
