Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.