I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
