shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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