K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
