I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
