Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
