just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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